Saturday, September 26, 2009

Scales are for fish.
Scales are for fish.
Scales are for fish.
Scales are for fish.
SCALES ARE FOR FISH.

Weight is just a number until we assign it meaning. I cannot give it power; it has none. I'm happy and healthy and everything is going well. Did I expect to see 110 on the scale? Or even 125? Those are unhealthy weights for me, I need to understand that. I don't know what my actual weight is. I know for a fact the scale is ten pounds off (given my past obsession with this particular scale), but that still means absoutely nothing. I'm never going to be stick thin. I have boobs and an ass and curves and that's FINE. I was born this way. I can't change it. My body is happy this way and I refuse to give up on my life because I saw something I didn't want to.
I'm just so upset I gave in and got on.
I haven't in over a year. Even amidst my relapse I refused to get on a scale. Just goes to show how little the weight actually matters.
A number is a number. That number will not grant me a degree, get me into grad school, earn me a job, or make me happy.
That number will ruin my life.
If I let it.

I cannot and will not let it.
FUCK YOU, EATING DISORDER, THERE'S NO ROOM FOR YOU HERE.

1 comment:

  1. BIG SMILY FACE!!! Scales are for fish I love it! I feel so much better since I got rid of mine. I'm still total under it's control but I'm resisting!

    I'm going to that one to my therapist she'll love it!

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